The Perfect Merry-Go-Round Horse

When I was 7 or 8 I think, my family went to Disney Land.  I don’t remember much from that trip but I have one extremely vivid memory.  I remember it so detailed that it could only be God’s desire to recall it back to me yesterday morning, some 16 years later. 

I remember the merry-go-round very vividly.  I remember watching it and wanting to ride it.  All the kids smiling and families together having fun.  Then I saw the most beautiful horse on the merry-go-round.  It was the only one like it on the ride.  She was pure white, full and flowing mane and tail.  Flowers were in her mane, and bells hung from the saddle.  She was frozen in time in a leap.  I knew I had to ride her and only her.  So we waited in line.  Then finally it was my turn to go in.  As I dashed around trying to find that one perfect horse, my anxiety built and when I realized someone was on her already I could have cried.  My brothers tried to get me to ride another one, but I couldn’t.  I couldn’t just ride any horse when she was there. 

God bless my parents for asking the ride –man to let me wait for the next time.  So back through the gate to wait, first in line.  Oh the anticipation and the excitement!!  Then it was my turn, I remember my brothers and I running around trying to find this horse and I remember being scared another kid would get it and I would have to wait again.  Oh but I didn’t!! I found her and climbed aboard!  My brothers riding right beside me. 

My mother must have heard God whisper, “Take a picture” because He  knew I would need it one day.  So she did. And in that photo I’m not an ecstatic little girl with a huge smile on my face.  No I look comfortable and content.  Happy yes, but more like a smile of contentment.  Like I knew this was where I was supposed to be and the very horse I was to ride. 

Now when I look at that photo I close my eyes and imagine I’m on the ride again, music playing, slight wind lifting my hair, laughter and squeals and the knowledge that I got my horse. J

This memory is so full of meaning and metaphors for me.  It comes down to the thing I’ve been searching for as of late: my search for meaning, my calling, or as Max Lucado puts it, my sweet spot.

God has revealed things to me that stir my heart, things that make me feel alive.  And the first step towards those I believe, is moving to Colorado.  Jordan and I have been praying and seeking God and we have decided it is what He is calling us to.  So we are moving!!! 

And with moving comes finding new jobs.  Yes I could very easily find a job with State Farm down there, and I just might.  But that “sweet spot” deep inside of me is calling out to be heard and used.  So now it comes, the waiting and watching for that perfect job, that position, that dream come true.  I don’t know what it will be, maybe it will be with horses, maybe it won’t.  But I know that just as my savior rewarded my patience with a ride on the perfect merry-go-round horse, He will reward me with the perfect calling and purpose and job.  I can’t wait to experience all the things He has in store for us in Colorado. 

We are leaving towards the end of October, which is very soon.  And we will miss all of our friends and church family.  It will be hard for me to leave this place, the only home I’ve ever known.  I know it will, Alaska gets in the blood.  But I truly feel God is calling us to step out and adventure with Him.  And so . . . we go.