Everything is new

Realization sank in last night.  Of all that I will be leaving.  The memories made in this house.  The friendships I've established.  The history I have with countless people because we've grown up in the same town.  The church support and family.  The ministry opportunities I've had through the years.  The nature, the hikes, the views.  Oh the list goes on and on and the tears come.

I told Jordan the other day that sometimes I think dissapearing one day would be easier than all of these goodbyes.  But then again, I love imprinting those last moments in my mind of the goodbyes to people I care for.  But still... goodbyes suck.

Last night at youth group I tried not too, but once we started getting prayed for I couldn't help it.  Probably the strongest word spoken was by our amazing youth pastor and friend Jeremy.  God gave me a gift through his words, one I was totally not expecting.

Jeremy spoke that God was saying that my past is wiped clean.  That my past won't matter anymore.  That the things I've come through and the experiences I've had are behind me.  That God has new things in store. 

This is when I stopped fighting the tears.  As many good things that I leave behind, I now leave behind the not so good.  I have carried alot of failures over the years.  Experiences that I have put up on the wall and used as a "note to self, don't ever do that again" sort of thing.  Like a failed young adults group, a failed discipleship group, rough friendship endings, scarring experiences from Bible School, and just the old me.

There was so much freedom in Jeremy's words.  The idea of not looking at my past and using it to discount what I could do, is liberating!  Sometimes Jordan will tell me about an idea or dream and I won't say it but immediately my brain sets off warning bells, "you tried that and failed!! don't go back down that road, it only leads to hummiliation and failure!" 

So Jeremy's words for me were really needed.  I've been saying that this move is full of new and fresh things for me.  And here is just another way.  It is so exciting to know that God has us on our way to a new and bright future.  Just as another leader, Jodi, said; God is lighting a match with us.  We will burn brightly and be a burning flame.  He has things in store for us, that is for sure.  I just need to remember not to discount what He could do in us.  This is going to be good!

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ

has become a new person.

The old life is gone;

A new life has begun!"

II Corinthians 5:17